When your mind is boggled to the point you know it is having an effect on your health. When you wish you could make a decision but cannot. When someone or something is frustrating you to no end. Most likely you already know that meditation can help you. If the mere mention of meditating sends an awful sensation through your body. If it is like knowing you need to eat more fruit and veggies and you just can’t get yourself to do it. Or as a person shared with me, “I feel anxiety and I want to cry just thinking about alone time. I have a “soul-ution” for you. (A solution for your soul.)

You just need to carve out some alone time for yourself. That is all.

I can hear some of you laughing as if time alone was a luxury you cannot afford or even fathom. For others, time alone might make you so squirrely, you think it’s a mild form of torture. Time alone is very important- everyone needs it. If you are ready to honor yourself and find some clarity start with these 3 simple steps.

Create time for yourself

All you need to do is ask for it. Ask yourself. Ask your kids. Ask your spouse. Ask the Universe. They may even be able to help you figure out where to find it. If you currently can only take 5 minutes on a Thursday that is a good place to start.

2. Take 5-10 minutes of alone time, with no distractions

If being still and quiet is uncomfortable at first, do an activity. Writing, drawing or another expressive art form can free your mind. Add moments where you just breathe and notice. Notice your thoughts. Notice sensations in your body. Notice sounds around you. Notice, then let them go. Maybe write down some of your recurring thoughts to quiet them. Talk to yourself as if you were a dear old friend: How are you really? What do you need today? And so on.

3. Allow any feelings, sensations and thoughts that you are having,do not judge them

One of the first meditation groups I attended, I cried most of it. It was so weird. Tears just streamed down my face and they would not stop. At the time I wasn’t aware of any sadness. As I allowed myself (I would have been more embarrassed to disturb people by leaving the room.) to cry, it felt more like a release. Crying is natural and cleansing. Emotions are natural and usually fleeting. Please allow yourself to have them, then let them go.

For me my meditation practice is evolving just as my fitness regimen had many years ago. Start with small amounts of time, as you would with a new fitness program and add on to frequency and duration. Sit outside as often as you can. Near a garden or moving water is a bonus! My meditation practice started with a weekly meditation group. I could hardly stand the 4o minutes at first. Then I used the buddy system to add to the frequency. Most of the time I can sit for 15 minutes, sometimes I do not worry about the clock and go by how I feel. Occasionally, I sneak in a moment or two, in my car or bathroom, taking a few deep breathes and repeat a mantra. When I get the chance to participate in a guided meditation (my favorite) one hour can slip away and feel like 10 minutes! When I am not feeling well I sit and repeat positive “I am” statements; I am wellness, I am health. My personal goal is to meditate every day. Although I do start the day with a morning intention I created for myself- I do not count that. After two years, I am up to an average of 3 times a week without thinking too much about it.

Once you begin taking time alone on a regular basis and it is a habit your next step will be to take away the activities. Sit comfortably and just breathe. Don’t worry about meditating just yet. Enjoy this piece of heaven you deserve.

Caution: Be aware that time alone can also cause a sense of peace, moments of bliss and sparks of intuition.

How much time alone do you need? This is a process that could take you years to figure out if you currently have no idea. Don’t judge yourself about that please, it’s not a race. If you have not tuned into yourself or have just starting, there will be much you’ll become aware of. A family vacation could set you backwards, a retreat may propel you forward. As the amount of time each person needs varies, so does length of your process. It will be your own.

There is a higher intelligence out there and your higher –self. If you can be quiet enough for long enough, you will be able to tap into that intelligence.

The Energy Garden